7things

So like, I guess I will do this…just keeping up with the trend that smeg tends to set from time to time ^^. My job should be alot easier than Stephens, though I know not how long he took.. I should be able to get this done quicker. Why? Because I’ve started something like this since 2008. Not even joking. Though.. not staying true to myself, I’ve only got 42 entries…for 42 things about myself, that, at the time I would be convinced it was a trait of mine.
On second thought. I wont even be using those…It’ll be even more interesting to see if I have changed in the way I perceive myself over these years. =]


1. I guess the first and foremost thing is that I am very deeply conflicted inside, in terms of how much of myself I want to expose. Things like this, surveys etc.. they always tickle my fancy, because I get the urge to ‘talk’ so to speak…so share memories and moments, fun things and facts. It helps me in an indirect way, when a survey asks me questions about my past. Memories are sacred and special things to me, they’re kind of like some old videos that I still have around the house. Pokemon 2000 - I won it from a drawing competition way back. Things like that? They keep me grounded, so I that I can’t really ever lose my roots of who I am.
2. As you and I may have just realised.. looking up at (1) really does give the indication that I do want to talk about myself hey. But not only that, I feel like I have so much insight to offer if the option of a more engaging conversation were to start up.
3. The most unfortunate thing is that, as modest as I can put this, I think I have a rather diverse range of friends. There was a time around year 9 or 10 where I peaked in trying to make friends and be social and all that. Damn, it was the most tiring objective in the world, and although I don’t regret it, I don’t think I’ve kept as many as I would like.
4. I enviously admire those kids who seem to be bred to be better than you. Everytime I talk to one, I get this small hit of anger and depression inside of me, different realisations, trying to explain my current position. I could be that person. I think to myself. I could offer so much, just like that person. I tend to think to myself.
5. And so I tried being everything. Which is funny, because I used to be something back then. There was this time around last year and year before, where, I thought that I needed to have something to offer. Some form of musical talent, if not academia or sports. Normally it might be hard to set yourself apart from the crowd, but in a school like this, keeping up with the crowd seems to be an achievement in itself. I still think I need to be something worthwhile
6. I don’t know about you, but I live life as if it were some kind of game. Not in the adventurous kind of way, but rather in the sense that, I’ve got some player in the back of my head, always thinking choices over before I act. More clearly put, everything that happens to me becomes some sort of multiple choice. Everything is thought about for a brief moment before carried out. Its as if, sometimes I choose to be nice, as opposed to me just always being nice.
7. In extension of that, I always have this virtual image of myself, living my life. I have some pretty solid and deeply rooted foundations, morals that I maintain above most things. Often at times, I consolidate my actions for that day and think events over, criticise thoughts, words and actions - or lack thereof. In my mind, this makes me a better person, and closer to the one that I actually want to be. Not act out.
8. I realise that I actually really don’t like doing this. hahaahha
facts like this shouldn’t just be put out there in my opinion.. it doesnt really serve a purpose moreso than to pass the time, collect thoughts, or as Stephen has openly mentioned, collect attention.

Thats not to say I don’t like reading these things.. I does offer plenty of insight, and may well be the key to strengthening bonds, correct understandings etc.
I just can’t write stuff like this for people to see xD

ps Stephen, i actually did this yesterday, but forgot to post =X