New Blog Name Soon.

When I do come across reading other peoples blogs, namely where the subject matter is rather personal,almost intimate and there is relatively some depth -thought provoking. I get this urge to share something of my own. Yet, just as that thought is registered, I turn down my offer with a variable level of regret.
Why should I talk about myself? For what purpose would I want to, even so far as need to open up? Why should anyone have to for that matter. I guess it strongly disagrees with what want to define myself as. I would rather be mysterious than transparent, subtle rather than upfront and surprising rather than predictable. Clearly I'm not.
I guess, I would like the result of this to provoke interest, curiosity and realisation. For me right now, I suppose I'm just trying to transition myself to a pattern of study. I know what I'm doing and what the effects of those are, its a change 2 years in the making. I have already cut rope, and more might need to be cut, as I anchor myself somewhere in the middle, away from the piers in every distracting direction. It has always been hard to keep up the fight in the daily grind for me, yet, when I did, I had everything. And when the week ended, I found myself tired to the point of desperation, where I knew I couldn't keep it up for much longer. So I didn't.
The hardest part about giving up is actually accepting it.Well, for me at least. Its easy to step out, but the next part is rather disheartening. Id imagine that one will eventually become so used to it, that they're rather oblivious to the fact that they are giving up. Numbing, some say.
As someone who has had everything they ever wanted - Achievement,Possessions, Friends, Laughter, Love and Family - all at once, at the end of the day, it really is the way life should be. So if you have that right now, cherish it, because very rarely can something monumental like that happen so often. If you feel like you don't, then maybe your goals are too high, or that something really fundamental is missing. Something that effectively only you require.
I haven't written any lengthy blogs that are relatively personal like this in ages, private or public.
It feels kind of weird, and I will probably regret it. But what the hell hey?

thankgod its over.

6 million juice pt 2

So anyway, after that, I somehow ended up inside a semi-abandoned shopping centre. I say semi-abandoned because even though about 85% of the shops there were closed down and empty, there were maybe about five or six that were still in business for some reason. Most of the ones that were still open were on the ground floor, which was a food court. The second floor had two shops open, one being a strange Asian restaurant, and the other being the Sydney Technical Institute, for some reason. The top floor was 'Storage'

6 million juice

This is where I went today.

Left side of the picture. I think this place could be a nice place to hang out if the river didn't look like such a shit-hole. You can't see here but there are some benches. I'm standing on a bridge.

Right side of the picture. Again, I'd imagine that little platform on the right would be a pretty nice place to hang out, seeing as how there are benches on it, but the river is a bit disgusting.

So I walked to the platform in the above picture. There was another guy who was taking photos except he had like, yknow, not just a shitty phone camera.

This is the bridge I was standing on when I took the first two pictures.

The other side of the bridge. The other side of the bridge is considerably nicer than the other side coz there's lots of grass and the water looks less scummy.

The other side of the bridge. FAR NICER THAN THE OTHER SIDE.

For some reason, the last couple pictures aren't links. Not that anyone would be bothered clicking those giant 1632 x 1224 pieces of shit.

Reiteration

The difference between good-looking and attractive is that the former is relatively objective while the latter is relatively subjective. I know that this doesn't actually make sense because opinions will differ on this subject, hence "relatively".

I'm going to say some things that might be disputed.

Good-looking, obviously, is based on physical beauty. My only criteria for a good-looking person comes from their facial structure. I say facial structure because "I LIKE UR FACE" sounds kind of terrible.

Any other criteria, such as body, would be used to judge hawtness, derived from sexual attraction. Like I said, I really don't care about hawt right now; sex is one of those things I don't really care about. So hawtness is irrelevant to me.

I don't know what constitutes being attractive. Perhaps it's a combination of being goodlooking and having a lovely personality. If that's it, then I suppose I'm weird, because I'm longing for a personality type that doesn't suit me at all, and the differences are so wide to me at the moment, it feels like I can't change myself enough.

It's such a cliche to be truly happy by staying true to yourself, and be accepted for who you are rather than for who you pretend to be. I don't think that's true.

Sometimes it's just easier to give up and try to conform, rather than find someone who suits you.

Though I said to be happy in your body rather than because of it, there should also be a mentality of self improvement; if you're not happy, you'll work harder to improve. That's my theory, anyway, and it doesn't apply to people who can't be bothered.

I love those anonymous comments that say nice things. Makes me wonder who's out there that likes to read what I write about myself. I do imagine they come from a girl.

If you want to know about me, first, you should realise that I talk about myself a LOT. I consider myself weird, in the most mundane way. I can't sustain a conversation simply because I'm not funny enough, or interesting at all. I try to be deep at the most inappropriate moments. Everything I do is calculated, yet it's all wrong.

Really, I wish I could be a nicer person. I wish I could be that guy that you love telling your friends about, that your friends like talking to. The guy you're not afraid to tell your parents about, the guy that can hang around your brothers and sisters and feel completely natural.

I know it's all so stupid, and, really, this should be the least of my worries. I should focus on my studies, but the temptation is here, now. And I know that however far I stretch, I can't reach it.

It's such a stupid distraction.

OFFICEWORKS

I'm going to write a story based on Quoc's dichotomy of Heaven and Earth - where Earth is not a phase we need to get through to pass into Heaven, rather, it is a of damnation and torment, Hell, if you will.

The ending will be really terrible

"But if you're bound to eternal damnation, if you're a fallen angel...why aren't you in Hell?"

"YOU ARE HELL"

And then John was a zombie.

Yesterday I went to Officeworks to get myself proper desk and a chair, as opposed to using an A3 sketchpad (for the Year 7 Japanese assignment) while sitting on my bed. It took me 5 hours to put together the desk, and even then, the drawers didn't slide out right. My room is also a mess. Good fun.

wow..

TOP ONE

As you can see, I've dropped the idea of writing my blogs on paper first and then scanning them. I might do it from time to time if I can be bothered, which I won't be, but now I quite like the idea of using more photos in my blorgs, coz I've been taking more photos with the camera on my mobile telephone this year. Not just of my pets. So I spose that's what I'll do for now. Guess I won't be needing a jacket.

I used to make jokes and tell people that I was making beef muffins when people asked me what I'm doing on the weekend, because I didn't think savoury muffins existed.

"Forward, and right! Freeing myself like a butcher!"

Not many people will get this. This is the toy thingy outside the candybar at Greater Union Liverpool.

A filthy piece of shit on the train. There are skid marks off the seat, look at that.

Next Tuesday

Since we plan to not make ANY shit jokes next Tuesday, we did a practice run today to see how it would work. After running the practice, I realised that I found it kinda hard to communicate without the use of phrases like 'HURR,' 'OKAY MORE,' and the In It hand gesture. 

Also, at chungehh, 

*important*

THE Universities Admission Centre has adopted the new "Australian Tertiary Admissions Rank" ( ATAR ) to replace the UAI.

This change will affect those who would have received a UAI of <99.70 where their ATAR rank will slightly increase as their UAI drops. Eg.. If a student received a UAI of 90 then their ATAR rank will be reported as 99.05 ( slight increase ).

Also, this scheme is a national one (except Queensland, which will require changing of legislation ). This means that, students across Australia will be included in the ATAR ranking system. However, as I understand it, NSW and VIC will still recieve seperated numbers of spots for rankings ( there wont be more competition for an ATAR rank ), and supposedly will slightly increase the number of positions available in an ATAR catergory.

In saying this, instead of the usual number of 22-23 UAI100, there will now be ~46 spots for an ATAR of 99.95, which is decidely the top rank.

There will also be a guide on the ATAR HSC 2010, which should be released to students late July.

Bored? More info below.

http://www.uac.edu.au/documents/atar/ATAR-Conversion-Table.pdf
http://www.uac.edu.au/documents/atar/ATAR-Change-FAQs.pdf

" You used to be friends, now you hatish "

- Best Quote Ever.



anywho,

time to like rant out something.


Dill - can be used to help an upset stomach. just crush add some water ( like tea ) maybe some lemon and drink.
Coffee - Anti-Depressant, stimulates stuff... only drinking it for the former bitches.

I forgot to tell my indians to bring a black shirt tomorrow.

also, its suppsedly 13 degrees MAX.
also, a strong Antarctic gust will bring the chill factor to 5 degrees.

Crazzzzzy hair + Scarf = winnah/

.I.A.M.NOT.NOR.M.ALITY.

SIX MORE VIEWS UNTIL 1337TH HHURRR LOL DOWNWARD.S

JON IS IN IT.