AHH YEH. serious though.

since sooooo many people read this.

I AM SELLING MY PANASONIC TZ3 UBER PRO CAMERA.

FOR THE UNDERLYING PROFESSIONAL...OR IF YOU'RE ONE OF THOSE, IT SHOOTS GREAT PICTURES FOR YOUR FACEBOOK EVEN THOUGH YOU WOULD LOOK THE SAME IN EVERYSINGLE ONE ANYWAY.

SPECS:

AWESOME 10X OPTICAL ZOOM. MOST SHITHOUSE CAMERAS HAVE 5X AT BEST, LIKE SANTIAGOS.

MAGNIFICENT SPECIAL SHOT/SCENERY AUTO MODES, HAS LIKE AT LEAST 20 MODES.

SEXY BLACK OUTER SHELL MADE WITH QUALITY STEEL AND PLASTICS

TAKES SDHC CARDS

ITS 7.2MP AND HAS MANY PHOTO/COLOUR OPTIONS.

SOOOOOO MANY CONFIGURATIONS

WIDE ANGLE 28-35MM

YOU WILL LOOK RICH WITH ONE*

THE RRP FOR IT WAS $669 SO ITS PRACTICALLY A GIVE AWAY.

I WANT $400 ...BUT ILL TAKE NEAREST OFFERS

SEXY SHIT MAN. BUY IT. FARROUT.

MORE SHORT STORY

I don't think anyone's going to read this. This is my story about leadership.

Mayor Henry Norton gazed out the window of the car, mentally preparing himself for the inevitably unpleasant task that lay ahead of him. To his left, driving, was his assistant Karl, who also functioned as a bodyguard. Henry doubted his body would need guarding for this particular public announcement. The only part of him that would need protecting was his mindset - he hated seeing his community displeased, though it was quite possible that was because he was probably the source. He had long accepted the fact that figures of authority would always be hated by one social group or other, but that didn't mean he didn't lose any sleep over it. He had heard once that one of the biggest mistakes you could make as a leader was to try to please everyone, but that didn't stop him from trying anyway. Couldn't they see that he was doing it for their own good? Couldn't they see that he had to? Henry wished the public would be a little more empathetic.

Oliver was pissed. Taking a seat in a row of chairs towards the back of the hall, the sound of two hundred voices simultaneously complaining echoed around him. This didn't do anything for Oliver's already poor mood; he didn't like the idea of transforming a section of the town's park into a multi-storey carpark either, but he also didn't find it necessary to go on and on about it to his husband or wife or girlfriend or otherwise significant other.

Mayor Henry Norton stepped out of the car. He was in a state of mind where he didn't care what happened in the hall, just as long as he could get it over and done with. He was normally like this before making announcements. As a result, many people thought he was cold, but Henry thought that it was a better alternative than getting worked up every time he made an announcement to the community.

As he stepped into the hall, he was slightly overwhelmed by the blended voices of the entire town voicing their opinions about the carpark project simultaneously. He doubted any of them were really listening to each other. Henry liked to think of himself as just another town member, albeit one with much more responsibility, but at the same time, he found it annoying and unnecessary to go on and on about the project to his wife, or Karl, or his secretary Jane, or otherwise significant other.

Oliver cringed as the air around him seemed to erupt with noise. Oliver thought this was unnecessary and annoying. Everyone knew the project was going ahead anyway, but hearing the mayor announce it officially seemed to be a bit much for everyone. At the same time, Oliver agreed. He couldn't see much sense in building a carpark, especially since the park was such an integral part of the town's social scene. Oliver himself liked to take a stroll around the park on Friday nights. So did most of the town, from what he could tell. Couldn't Mayor Norton see that? He wished the mayor would be a little more empathetic. 

oh bellehz

A man was browsing a local bookstore and saw a book titled, "Logic and Deductive Reasoning.” Curious, he asks the storekeeper “What’s logic?”
"Logic is hard to explain", the man tells him, "but here, I'll give you an example."

AH YEH ACHEEM

so like, the top 40ish in SBHS get UAI 99>



WTF HAHS...


argh.

*clap* *clap**clap* ? ? ?

Whatever man.

Not old

So instead, here is the story I wrote for the trial School Certificate last year.
WILL ANYONE ACTUALLY READ ALL OF THIS? WHO KNOWS.


Question 52 (20 marks)
Write a real OR imaginary incident based on a childhood memory of growing up.
You should write at least 150 words.

Write your short story on the lines provided below:

I can hear a scratchy kind of chirping coming from somewhere in the grass, but I can't pinpoint the location. I'm wandering around my back yard, trying to follow my ears, but it seems impossible to home in on. Every time I turn around, it seems to be coming from my left. Or right. Or behind me, or something.
I'm pretty sure there's an injured bird somewhere around here. Probably the one I sometimes see in the big fruit tree in the backyard. I don't even know what kind of fruit, because it never seems to bear any. Maybe the bird has fallen out of the fruit tree and has injured its foot [the marker here circled it and wrote 'claws?'], though that hardly makes sense to me. Being able to fly seems like the only advantage about being a bird. It'd be pretty crappy to eat worms or birdseed or grass or dirt or whatever it is birds eat.
I don't even know what breed the bird is, except that it's not a pigeon. I do remember that it's a really nice shade of blue. Bright blue. If I were ever to paint my room, I'd paint it blue.
I eventually decide it's coming from the base of the tree. I walk over, but slowly and carefully, just in case it's not at the tree and I accidentally step on it or something.
And yes, here it is, and yes, it seems to have fallen the fairly considerable two metres to the ground, though I really can't imagine how. It's hopping about frantically. I think its right leg is hurt coz ['because,' noted the marker] it seems to freak out when it tries to walk on it.
I read a book on cats once, saying that if you want to approach one, don't make sudden movements, and slowly lower yourself to its level. Maybe it's the same with birds. I get down on my stomach and crawl towards the bird. Maybe I should have worn something other than white, coz I'm getting grassy dirt stains all over my shirt. I reach my hand out in the friendliest way I can manage. I highly doubt it's actually going to hop right into my hand, but I suppose it's worth a shot anyway. After all, I am just trying to help. If I were the bird, I'd trust me.
The bird seems to have calmed down. Or maybe it's just extremely exhausted. To my slight surprise, it lets me slowly work my hands around it, and pick it up gingerly.
It now occurs to me that I don't know how to take care of birds, or in my case, an injured one. I think it's safe to assume they're nothing like cats.
I decide to take my chances, and leave the bird on a thick, folded towel inside the bathroom. I sprint down the stairs and down to the shops just down the road, and arrive huffing and puffing at the small pet store on the end.
I enter and ask the girl at the counter if she has any birdcare manuals. She tells me she does, and it'll be $14.99, thanks. On the way back, I half-jog, half read the book. The more I read it, the more I'm looking forward to treating this bird. Maybe it'll get better, and it'll go back to the tree. Maybe I'll build a kind of treehouse, so I can visit it and its family. I'll let it sleep in my room sometimes. Maybe I'll buy some branches and leaves, so it feels right at home.
"I'm going to name you Ocean," I think to myself. It'd suit the nice blue color of its feathers.
I jog up the stairs and open the bathroom door. There are feathers everywhere, and smears of what I think looks like blood. My heart is racing. I try to make sense of the frenzied mass of blue feathers and red smudge. My gaze drifts over to the corner near the bathtub.
My heart drops.

WEYYY!!
DRAMATIC ENDING.
You can come up with your own story for the birds demise, but I was just thinking my cat got in.
Not based on a real incident.

TEH RULES.

The Female always makes THE RULES.

THE RULES are subject to change without notice.

No Male can possible know all THE RULES.

If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change some of THE RULES.

The Female is never wrong.

If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong.

If Rule #6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.

The Female can change her mind at any time.

The Male must never change his mind without the express written consent of The Female.

The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.

The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male know whether she wants him to be angry or upset.

The Male is expected to read the mind of the Female at all times.

At all times, what is important is what the Female meant, not what she said.

If the Male doesn't abide by THE RULES, it is because he can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.

If the Female has PMS, all THE RULES are null and void and the Male must cater to her every whim.

Any attempt to document THE RULES could result in bodily harm.

If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to Rule #5.