Tuesday, June 30, 2009

My Apologies

I guess no one should really be surprised, that this has happened to me.

I mean, the only other person taking as many units as me is Monica ( I think.. ).

I guess I'll need to explain my situation..

I know I'm unable to sit down for even 10 minutes and do some work, pathetic really. So I got called over to Mrs Esjak ( pardon spelling ) about my French. Since I was missing phone lessons, -but really, I did try to make them - she grew 'concerned'. She asked why I didn't have time to call and complete work. Thats when I dropped the bombshell.
" I... don't have a free period for it.." He said as he looked away. " I have 15 units.. ".
She said something like " thats ridiculous.. or something. So then comes this.
" Mrs Goodwin is very concerned. You're about 12 weeks behind and quite frankly you will need to drop a subject. "
Of course I wasn't going to drop it. - HAH.
" So now I want ALL of Module 2 done by this Friday".
0_0"....errr...
Of course I couldn't let that show. So I replied with fake confidence " Absolutely. It will be done. "

And so begins my self-destruction.
For some reason, I checked it out Monday night, looked at it and didn't do it.
For the same reason, when I got back from Piano.. I looked at it more carefully. It said " This module is meant to take 7 weeks to complete. " WTF YO.
And so, I decided to go all out. But even then, the workload was just way too much. It was much much more complicated that I had expected, and alas.. did not finish. My sleep deprivation starts then, Thursday.

0Hours of Sleep.

So on Friday, after no sleep I still manage to get to morning class.. somehow ( <3 for maths.. =D ). Day runs by normally.. I'm in my " Can't you see I'm a tad tired " mode.. but how you interpret it is up to you.
" Where is the rest Robert? .. "
" Monday.. It was just alot more than expected and I couldn't finish ". Which is true.. but I suppose I could've if I started earlier.. instead of 12am the day before. Pathetic really.

10Hours of Sleep.

So I woke up at 9am on a Saturday.. which is only an hour more than my usual time..
I forgot what happened that day. Everything is a blur of faces, colours and sounds.

19Hours of Sleep.

Chatting it up with my new year 10 buddies ( PREFECT CAMP GODDAMIT. ) I slept at 1am on Saturday.. Sunday was when I realised I really needed to get a move on with my work. At this point, I am on edge. I felt the pressure on me to deliver, to complete. Never have I ever been this frantic, losing time - as I watch it slip through my fingers - as I desperately snatch away at every piece of information I can get. The procrastination has become the undoing of me. I started Chemistry 8pm on Sunday, sleeping at 1am which 2 sections done.

24Hours of Sleep.

Not surprisingly, I wake up to kill off the alarm. A blackness that is warm surrounds me, and I fall back to my slumber. I wake up, starting to perspire, I check the time. 7am. My bus leaves in 4 minutes. Luckily, my mum sees that I am .. not right. Offers me a lift to the station.. by telling my Dad to drive me =X. I make it to Maths. 1am Bed.

29Hours of Sleep.

I finished my Chemistry this morning, writing out the bibliography which I just gave up on the night before. 3 Teaspoons of Nescafe Gold please. Arabica. Yes, one teaspoon of brown sugar thanks. Oh.. and milk please. WINNAR.
I honestly would not know how I am still here now without that coffee.
Chemistry went well. I finished the test, with 5 minutes to go. However.
The test caused me to completely doubt myself.
I scanned through the questions.
I started on question 7 and worked randomly.
I saw question 1 and something else which I immediately thought. No. Way.
I left them to the side until the last 10 minutes.
Almost gave up. Thoughts in my head.
" Its okay to no do them Robert. "
" Maybe I will drop Chemistry..But what will fill its place?"
I was immediately distracted. But I decided to plough through. As I always do.

I finished with 5 minutes to spare. Decided to leave early. I didn't even check my work.. as soon as I finished, I put my pen down, stacked booklets and exam.

Ran out to the train which I had to catch.
Got to Wolli Creek.
Almost missed that one too. Had to sprint.

Now my throat is sore.
I can't wait for this week to be over..
These words don't actually give this story justice.
So pathetic.

1 comment:

C. said...

awww, roberttt.
that was a very nice story.
AND YOU'RE ALSO IN PETER PAN.
Goddamn, ambitious?

I think maybe you should do something about something...

Not that I could help, but if anything, let me know!