Monday, November 7, 2011

HAPPYSMEGDOG / DICKILEAKS: JESS T PUBLIC BREAKDOWN (SHE IS A BUMFACE)

What's in a name?

For notorious Sydney blogger Jessica Tran, there may be a bit more than we realise.

An exclusive collaborative investigation between Happysmegdog and Dickileaks reveals that the seemingly light-hearted, sweet-but-cheeky humour that she has become known for may very well have not been the sole reason behind her seemingly innocuous Twitter handle @fartssica.

The real story? Jessica is a bum face.

One out of only four others in history, she is afflicted with a condition from birth where all orifices on her face do not have the usual functions we would expect from a mouth, nose and ears.

They are in fact small anal cavities; it is only through extensive cosmetic surgery, and a lifetime of training that she is able to converse normally without anyone knowing.

In our shocking new video interview (embedded below), she admits, between near-hysterical, flatulent sobs, that it has always been a source of embarrassment for her.

"I'm so sorry, I can't help it," she moaned, just barely audible over the steady stream of farts burbling uncontrollably from her face. "I'm so embarassed... please stop filming this."

Jessica, who has since hastily changed her Twitter handle to the more mature @JessLovesFred, has been unavailable for further interviewing.

Stream the interview below:

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

it'd be nice to see something new :)