Tuesday, October 18, 2011

SMEG INTERVIEWS FASHION OVERLORD JESS T, LIVES TO TELL THE TALE

NOW THAT THE SMEG HAS BECOME A LEGITIMATE NEWS SOURCE, OUR MISSION HAS BECOME TO DELIVER THE MOST HARD HITTING NEWS KNOWN TO MAN.

AS SUCH WE ARE BRANCHING OUT INTO ON-THE-STREET INTERVIEWS, DOWN IN THE DIRT WITH REAL AUSTRALIA.

TODAY THE AWARD WINNING SMEG NEWS CREW HAPPENED UPON JESS T, PROLIFIC FASHION BLOGGER, IN SYDNEY'S CBD.

JESS T IS A RISING STAR IN SYDNEY'S FASHION BLOGOSPHERE, BUT HER METEORIC RISE HAS NOT BEEN WITHOUT CONTROVERSY.

ONE TESTIMONIAL OF AN ANONYMOUS SOURCE CLAIMED, "I'M PRETTY SURE SHE IS A T-REX AND HAS A BLOG AND LOVES FASHION PLEASE DON'T TELL HER I SAID THAT SHE WILL EAT ME."

ANOTHER SOURCE STATED, "I TOLD HER I LIKED HER DRESS AND SHE TOLD ME 'I LIKE YOUR SOUL', I WOKE UP NAKED A FEW HOURS UNDER A RUBBLE OF EMPTY ASOS DELIVERY PACKAGES AND THE SMELL OF GRATED CHEESE LINGERING IN THE AIR."

FINALLY ONE HOSPITALISED HIGH SCHOOL GIRL TOLD US THAT, "I USED TO BREATHE OXYGEN AND EAT SOLID FOODS BEFORE I COMMENTED ON JESSLOVESFRED."

JESS T WAS SEEN IN THE PASSENGER SIDE OF A MERCEDES BENZ AND WE READIED AVANT-GARDE CAMERA OPERATOR MATTHEW, EVER-RELIABLE SENIOR REPORTER GENVIN, AND HAPPY-GO-LUCKY INTERN JULIE FOR WHAT COULD WELL BE THE INTERVIEW OF THE CENTURY.

VIDEO EMBEDDED BELOW.

1 comment:

Linda Tran said...

Compelling stuff, brilliantly written. Can't wait for your next exclusive.

justonemoree