So Stephen, what's new? I shaved my head.
I forgot Blosia's Twitter and Tumblr passwords.
I have studied a lot.
And I DGAF!!!!!!!!! YOU ALL BETRAY ME.
I have decided to major in English, cause I can. Hopefully it will be enjoyable and things, and I'll meet people who aren't so NGaannngGGGHHH. Not really a BAD thing, just that I will probably not talk to most of the people I've met after semester's up.
So what else is new? I have lots of anger and stress. I'm getting grey hairs and things. I am feeling old, not because I am not aware of whichever artist is popular with the kids these days, but because, day by day, I am drifting further and further into a mindset in which I live in the past and future. I look back wistfully upon memories as better times that will never be had again, and look to the future for some hollow form of satisfaction in the form of a house that I might own far, far away from here.
Never the present, even though it makes a lot of sense to live life moment by moment, rather than looking back or forward, looking out to a time and place that is either gone or might never exist.
The way I am going, I will not leave my mark on this world. Too busy thinking of being somewhere else to just be where I am, to sit back and take in the world as it is.
What does any of this have to do with feeling old? I'm not sure, but I am definitely not enjoying myself.
What is with this rush to grow up? We are eighteen. The world has only just begun to recognise that we exist. So what's the reason behind wanting to don a suit and blend in? Why not just make as huge an impact as possible, starting as early as possible? Go fucking ape shit, because you have an excuse to carry on this way.
Why are grown-ups so bitter? When you tell me that someone is mature for their age, that just means to me that they constantly disapprove of everything. Jaded, intolerant, and intolerable.
As we drag our feet through this life, we carry along these buckets. Stereotypes. Whatever we think we know about something, we throw it in the corresponding bucket. Gradually, these buckets fill with assumptions, and, as they fill, we ask less and less because we think our knowledge of the world grows. The world is no longer a place of mystery and wonder, it just becomes this horrible thing where we think we know what is going to happen, and it will never work out for anyone.
ahhhhhhhhhhh.
I don't really have that much to say that you would care for. I can bitch about people, bitch about bitches, bitch about fucking Commerce and UNSW and the public transport system. I can pretend to be a grownup and complain about this damned pinko left government and talk about investing stocks and shit, but I don't really give a shit about any of that. I just give a shit about what immediately surrounds me.
I'm still wondering what went wrong, but I don't know if I care anymore. Sense is not what people make, nor have.
I've been using "You only live one" as an excuse to misbehave and do shit that is really pointless. Sometimes, pointless things are pretty cool, they're pretty funny and shit. like stealing a bunch of stickers and making a mummy out of someone. Definitely lolzworthy. But getting completely smashed, throwing up and being unconscious for four hours and making a total arse of myself seems to be such a huge waste of time. I've got it under control, I hope. I don't want to do that again, because I didn't have much fun, and I don't think it's really a way to have much fun in the future.
Did you know that if a girl says that she likes beer, there is a 70% chance that she will want to go home and sleep with you?
There is a lot of anguish inside of me that can only be released as a youtube video of me rapping to some beat that I have not made.
I BOMB ATOMICALLY,
SOCRATES' PHILOSOPHIES AND HYPOTHESES CAN'T DEFINE HOW i'LL BE DROPPIN THESE MOCKERIES
LYRICALLY PERFORM ARMED ROBBERY, FLEE WITH THE LOTTERY, POSSIBLY THEY SPOTTED ME
I got new Wu and even though the flow is tight and shit, I still prefer 36 Chambers for its catchy choruses and lo-fi beats.
This has been a blog update.
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