AND IF YOU GOT BEEF THEN BRING THA RUCKUS

watch out, summer holidays.

cool pasttimes, genvin!

A really rough, bumpy representation of what I do in my spare time if I really like a song, because I can't sing. This one is the first verse of Skinny Love by Bon Iver, because that's pretty much all I've got down solid (??). Wow, can we expect more of these shitty recordings throughout this holiday, Genvin? YOU KNOW IT, BUDDY.

I wish I had a boyfriend

Hello everyone, I'm back, and I am TRULY GREATLY EXCITED TO SAY THAT MY EXAMS ARE OVER AND I AM FINALLY FREE! They're not really - I have Extension 1 English tomorrow morning - but I've got the rest of the day to get my square on, and as each exam has gone past, the more I've realised that I don't really care about them that much.

SO, many (none) of you might be asking yourselves,

Hey! I wonder what Genvin's gonna be getting up to these holidays! He must be going craaazzyy!! LOL

Luckily for you, I've written up a guide detailing JUST HOW EXCITING MY HOLIDAYS ARE GOING TO BE.

1. GETTING RUTHLESS / TOOTHLESS

Half because I'm a gay loser kid who doesn't have a mad summer ride to go on mad summer road trips with, and half because I've been wanting to for ages anyway, first on my agenda is getting back into getting toothless with my boong, which is a kinda convoluted and truly hilarious way of saying that I'll just be getting back into skating, and possibly biking. But Genvin, it's actually the end of Year 12, and I've oft heard you whine like a little bitch about how much you want to spend the summer cruising aimlessly around wherever you please, singing along to the summer playlist you've compiled at the top of your lungs! What happened to shouting along to Japandroids songs and winding down the windows and all the other truly exciting stuff you said you'd do?

Dunno!

You're right, I have been whining like a little bitch about all those things you just said - TOO BAD I DON'T HAVE MY L'S. Genvin, isn't it now plausible that Genny will actually get her license before you? Yes.

It's okay though - as it can be seen through days like the one where Dannis and I stole a street sign and actually delivered it to Stephen's house, wrapped poorly in catalogs we found outside someone's house, as a gift, I AM IN FOR SOME ROOFLEZZ HOLIDAYS.

2. LOTS OF OTHER THINGS. THIS IS TAKING TOO LONG TO TYPE UP AND I NEED TO STUDY FOR EXTENSION.TO MAKE UP FOR IT, I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS IMAGE OF A BABY PLAYING WITH A SNAKE.

BITCH, THE FUCK YOU TALKING BOUT?

BITCH I LIVE IN A FUCKING TRASH CAN

GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR THESIS ON HOW DUMB YOU ARE, YOU WILL WIN BECAUSE YOU ARE SO DUMB.

I RAPED MYSELF

So as Bob will heartily testify, every three days, I will announce that I am holding out, usually in the form of:

I know that I say that I'm holding out a lot, and I know that I say that I know that I say that I'm holing out a lot a lot, but I'M HOLDING OUT, BOB.

The reality, of course, being that I last about a day or two before getting really bored and stuff. Cause it's not like I really feel the need to work the gherkin, it's more like HEY THERE'S NOTHING TO DO LET'S MAKE MYSELF TEMPORARILY SATISFIED.

ANYWAY.

So I told Bob that I'd be holding out (again) last Tuesday, with the belief that I really wasn't going to be holding out. Except, this time, I actually did.

So I'd been pretty clean for the week. Until Wednesday. That was when I decided that, being at home alone, and having held out for an entire week (it actually goes by pretty quickly upon reflection, but really slowly as you actually go through it), I thought I earned myself a Grande Olde Tugge. So, I jumped on the computer, and started doing my thing, except I noticed that I didn't really want to do it. Still, I persisted.

Throughout the whole process, I felt as if it were a chore. As if it would be so much easier to stop than to keep going, and, at one point, I did exactly this. But I went back, thinking I NEED TO START FINISHING THINGS I START. So I did, but there was no real rush of endorphins, only one of shame. I felt horrible. Used. Abused. Like someone's sexual slave.

And then it hit me.

I'd just raped myself.

BRB HSC LOL

If you see me online, chances are, I'll look exactly like this, coz it really seems like Kiara has nothing better to do all day now than sleep on me.

SEE YA SOON GUISE